Winter Feet

Today I pulled out another of my beauty favorites and I just had to share. When the cool weather rolls around, my skin suffers from spot dryness, particularly my feet and legs. A few years ago, I discovered L'Occitane's Pure Organic Shea Butter. After my evening shower, I dab a small amount in my palms, massage it onto my (usually aching) tootsies and cover them with white cotton socks. In the morning, my feet aren't dry and itchy -- they're soft and comfortably moisturized with no oily residue. Great find!

If the Shoe Fits...

One peek in the far corner of my closet and you would think I had cash to burn on shoes. I haven’t arrived to the point where I started counting them, but the sheer quantity is enough proof that I have a footwear “issue”. It wouldn’t be so bad if I actually wore the shoes, boots and sandals, but I don’t. Well, at least not more than once or twice. I ponder if my issue is more severe than the average woman who, like me, just can’t walk past a shoe store without going “WOW!” at some piece of foot candy in the window. My problem? I don’t keep walking.

When I wander into the stores, usually with no cash on hand, I try on a pair or five until I “stumble” on the pair I can’t live without. I’m left uttering to myself, “Thank you, Amex!”

At home, I slip them on and strut around the house while thinking about the numerous outfits to complete the picture. Oh, the dreams... The plans I make for the edgy shoes with the funky heels, the suits I can wear with the stilettos, the skinny jeans I can wear with the riding boots. And, boy, do I! Fun is hardly the word. It’s amazing how sexy and uplifted a pair of new shoes can make me feel. Then, just like that, the love affair is over. It’s an easy parallel to my nephew’s birthday parties where his favorite new toy is the star of the show. For three days, you can’t pry it from him without the tantrum of all tantrums. Then on day four, the poor toy is tossed in the corner of the living room like it never existed. My shoes suffer the same fate; worn a time or two before I return to old faithful. Yeah, those black pumps or brown stiletto boots that go with everything and feel like my comfy slippers, too.

Where does such a sickness come from? Could it be that whole dopamine thing? Is it possible I get a rush from retail therapy? I mean, I have enough sense to steer clear of stores when I know my resistance is weak, but even that requires an enormous amount of restraint. Why? Maybe it derives from that one time, years back when I talked myself out of the coolest pair of boots. I got home and couldn’t think of anything more than the gut-wrenching words, “They’re the last pair in your size.” First thing the next morning, I made a beeline for the store, was there when the doors opened. The boots were gone. Someone had snatched them up, and I never saw that style again. They were that unique. Apparently I never recovered from that horror. So, what might be the best solution? Perhaps I need therapy, and maybe a little variety. As I scan the shelves I realize I only have one pair of gray shoes. With winter coming, shouldn’t I have a hot new pair to usher in the season? But this time they’ll be practical. A pair I can wear at least once a week. Hmmm… Where have I heard that before?

Writing: Defiance!

Writing. Hmmn… Let’s see. In a perfect world, when I decide to write a book, I pull out a pen and draft a tidy outline – or if I’m lucky a premise – then after momentary thought, I start my first chapter: “Her feisty ways were destined to lead her astray…” Aah, blissful fantasy! In the real world I don’t decide to write a book, the book finds me. That's not meant to imply that it's an easy feat. Not by any stretch of the imagination. Most of the time, guilt brings me face to face with one scathing word that never fails to give me chills; the word I dare not speak. "Outline," she whispers. For the life of me, I just can’t do it. And that's not from lack of trying.

I know it is proper to draw up a rough -overall and chapter by chapter- outline to understand where the story is going and what I intend to reveal at each juncture. A kind of map for myself. Well, sadly my literary world isn’t so structured and perfect. When my characters start talking to me they don’t give a damn about outlines.

In an unintended way, I know my characters inside and out long before their true stories emerge. It has become a vital part of my plotting. In order to understand which way is up, I need to know my main characters likes/dislikes, quirks, desires, family life, thoughts, and most important, their careers. For many writers, it is quite the opposite. Storyline first, then character formation. Though I tried like hell, that ‘proper’ format just didn’t work for me.

Back when I wrote my first novel, it was more a stream of consciousness that led me through the story. I managed to make it through but the editing was way brutal. Of course I learned from that and have developed a moderate structure that works for me. My editor calls me defiant, but I say why tamper with what works? In a perfect world, it would be easier for me if I did follow the “rules” but my way flows much better with my twisted thought process.

A steady flow of ideas are constant in my mind, but my characters? They tend to wake me at 3am, telling me what they do and what kind of life they’re living. I reach for my notepad from the bedside table and jot down everything they say. Desi's burnt out from the hustle and bustle of NYC life. She wants to move and find a new home to launch her catering business and heal. Jason, a single parent, is a news editor and reluctant workaholic dealing with the murder of his youngest sister. Emmy is struggling to launch her clothing line when she falls for a Wall Street stock broker. Eve is an exotic dancer perfectly comfortable living life on the dime of her host of married men. Eddie owns a bookstore he's redeveloping to boost sales, while tending to his high school sweetheart who is dying from a malignant brain tumor. Zippy and Cheryl are twins who share a very deadly secret. My characters all embark on separate journeys, each in their own novel.

These are abbreviated starting points that I build on and work with before I begin constructing the plot. Writing is my joy, and when I began doing it the "proper" way the joy faded and it became just another job. Yikes! Upon completion of my fifth book, an arduous project, I went back to doing it my way, and I’ve been more productive. I won’t deny that an outline is great for most, but it just doesn’t work for me. An outline can set the stage for all things to come and provide a seamless foundation for a complete and succinct work.

Everyone has their own way of doing things. Maybe I am a bit (ahem) defiant, but nine books later, it hasn’t failed me! I try to celebrate my accomplishments and honor my craft. It’s a gift I cherish, cuz at the end of the day, my work is thoughtful, edgy, mysterious, engaging, relatable and entertaining. It’s complete. My characters have stories to tell and I listen. It’s fun. I’m living my dream, everyday. How hot is that?

Gluten: The Hidden Enemy

"Gluten is a protein in wheat, rye and barley. It is found mainly in foods but may also be in other products like medicines, vitamins and even the glue on stamps and envelopes." --Medlineplus

Who knew a simple question, two little words, would hold the answer to everything? “What’s gluten?” It is not uncommon for me to overlook something mentioned as an afterthought in nutritional guides, but with “awareness” growing to the forefront it’s hard to be blind. Why the hunger for knowledge about everything gluten hit me, I still don’t know. Having said that, I recall the day I lazily dragged my laptop across the sofa and decided to look up this elusive gluten and get to the bottom of it.

I should say that for most of my life I’ve been plagued by one ailment or another, even developing chronic conditions not usually seen in young adults. It caused my doctor a pause since my tests were immaculate and everything seemed to be in “working order” or so it seemed. My childhood? Well, that’s another story. I’d rather not travel back to my youth and the countless visits to doctors with varied problems: anemia, hives, abdominal aches, etc. It is much easier to start where the details aren’t so fuzzy.

For years, I struggled with (and was tested for) unexplained vertigo, severe bloating, sinus problems that just wouldn’t go away, insomnia… well, you get the idea. I’ve seen more ENT’s, neurologists and allergists than I’d like to recall. Quite a while back, I went to see a gastroenterologist. After a very uncomfortable endoscopy, he diagnosed me with acid reflux. Yes! Finally an answer. NOT! It was one let down after another.

Then I stumbled across this gluten “thing” and on a whim I Googled it. In that moment, time stood still. As I devoured the knowledge buried in cyberspace, I was dumbfounded to see that almost every single symptom of a gluten allergy was related to me! It was like a brief snapshot of my medical history.

After hours of exhaustive “symptom” research, I had to ask myself, “Is it possible that I’m allergic to gluten?” How can I have a healthy existence without whole grains?! Rather than consult with my over-confident doctor, who over the years has grown weary of me and my minor complaints, I decided to do my own at-home test first. Proud to say that after a tedious month of micro-managing my eating and staying gluten free, I feel better than ever! I mean GREAT is an understatement. Gone are the daily headaches and vertigo (that even a neurologist couldn’t figure out). Gone is the listless feeling and fatigue. No more digestive problems, bloating and shortness of breath. My head and sinuses are clear, my thinking focused and my concentration is no longer three steps behind the norm. Could it be possible? I wondered. Surely Dr. Gastro would’ve figured this one out.

Being my own test subject, I decided that the only real way to know if I was on the right track was to indulge in a chock full of gluten day -- formerly known as normal eating. Boy, did I pay for that. Not only did I blow up like the Michelin tire dude, I had a hard time falling asleep and I woke the following morning with my old friends: splitting headache, stomach pains and spinning room.

That day, I made the decision. Give the gluten up completely! No easy feat for a woman who devoured whole grains, rye bread, brown rice, pasta -- and what is breakfast without cereal or waffles? Oh, and I can’t forget the alcohol. No alcohol! A glass of wine or bubbly used to help me loosen up at networking events and cocktail parties. Now the mere thought of one drink comes with morning-after flashes.

That aside, I’ve discovered a very healthy way of eating for now sans gluten. And another revelation: Many restaurants serve gluten-free foods. I'm probably way yesterday but it's music to my ears. I’d love to say I miss having my favorite cakes, cookies and brownies but with the after-effects, it’s easier to say sayonara!

These days, I’m flying high on my newfound knowledge. But I’m left a bit peeved. How could something so serious have gone undetected? There’s no doubt that I now have the answer that’s eluded me over the years. Now the real work starts. A new journey is born. I’m setting out to learn any and all I can about gluten and living a gluten free lifestyle. Luckily I have a nutrition guru on hand to set me straight with the proper supplements and meal plans to keep my body fueled. I'll see doc soon and discuss this “thing” though I don't need confirmation anymore. My body doesn’t lie, and I feel amazing! Another day has passed without the debilitating headache and no more background nausea... That’s all the testament I need!

GOOD Hair Day... Everyday

Today I had a spa day… for my hair! When I tell you about my products, you’ll understand why it wasn’t just “shampooed” and “conditioned”. I pamper my hair twice a week now thanks to my soulmate, Juan Juan. My hero! His line of hair care products has made a bigger difference in my life than I ever thought possible.

Being of Native-American and African-American descent, my hair is, well… complicated. If you like reading maps, you might be able to see the divide in my hair. Big problems for me since forever! Two completely different textures on one head…NICE! With hair so complex, it didn’t take long for me to go the DIY route as no salon was ever able to give me the lasting results I sought.

Without a beautician running the show, I was essentially starting from scratch but that didn’t stop me. What products should I use? Many recommendations came from friends and family but they didn’t have the two hair types, so I was usually left half satisfied. And so the quest began…

I made my way through practically every hair care product on the shelves, never having total contentment for one small reason or another. Split ends, oily or dry scalp, flaking. Determined girl I am, I started doing what comes so natural now. I read the ingredients (duh!) and learned that most of them contained a loong list of questionable ingredients that mimicked the fine print on my multi-page auto warranty. To say “I was disgusted” is an understatement. I was positive the chemicals were doing more harm than good. And I’m allergic to sulfates! Why hadn’t I noticed these ingredients before? So my new “All Natural” mission was born.

Fortunate for me, it didn’t take years of sampling and disappointment for me to find what was just right for me. I wandered into a tidy little beauty shop and the owner off-handedly suggested J Beverly Hills. I was naturally skeptical but willing to give it a shot. That turned out to be one of the best beauty decisions I’ve ever made! To say, I was rescued by Juan Juan’s products is an understatement. His sulfate-free shampoo (for fragile hair…YAH!) and Everyday Moisture Infusing shampoo, Rescue conditioner and Masque -- for all hair types -- have ended my search for the perfect-for-me hair products! My hair is infinitely shiny and healthy now, and it’s no longer a chore to tend to my locks. It’s a treat.

When I want volume, there's a shampoo and conditioner for that. Unruly hair? No problem. Best friend with the crazee wild hair is hooked on the Control Taming shampoo and conditioner. J Beverly Hills has something to treat all of the common troubles we encounter at one time or another on our color-treated, over processed, stressed hair. Not to mention it keeps my hair healthy.

After several months of regular use, I returned to the quaint little shop and bought six bottles of each... and a few bottles of Crazy Straight – for my sleek, chic days. And what girl can resist the Leave On conditioner? I did say I was a shopaholic, right? Hehe. This time it paid off big. Many years have passed and I'm a happy hair girl!